The Push
John “BaRRaCCuDDa” Salter on His Drive to Compete, Winning It All, and Living With Immeasurable Grief
John “BaRRaCCuDDa” Salter with Spacestation Gaming during the season 6 regular season. Image courtesy of Hi-Rez Studios.
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
— “Separation” By W. S. Merwin
John “BaRRaCCuDDa” Salter and I understand each other. Around the time the SMITE Pro League’s third season began, Salter’s brother Scott passed away unexpectedly. It is a loss Salter has carried with him for the last seven seasons, and it is one from which he, understandably, has never fully healed. When talking about his brother, Salter always emphasizes their closeness—a bond that has made his loss all the more unbearable. Salter has been clear, also, that he doesn’t always know what to do—how to heal, or how to talk about it—but he does hope that discussing his grief can be of some comfort for others, that people would able to recognize how vulnerable he is with his grief and his pain, and it may help them process their own pain.
In the summer of 2021, my marriage ended. A mentor of mine told me that divorce can feel as devastating as the loss of a close loved one, and at the time I dismissed them because that was easier than facing the magnitude of the loss. In the ensuing months, I have never fully healed. Only in parts, only temporarily. Hearing Salter talk about his own healing process, I noticed a lot of the same patterns—a desire to reach out, a desire to restore things. Feeling like a part of you, a happy part of you, is gone forever, and there is a never-ending work to reconstitute that happiness in their absence. The weight of grief is universal. Healing comes when it comes. Maybe it never comes—not fully. Some losses are so profound there can be no ‘going back.’ For Salter, the loss of his brother was such a loss, and it has irrevocably changed him. Salter is less optimistic now, but he’s more measured as well. He speaks of a lengthy depression, but he also finds a deeper appreciation for the beautiful things in his life, such as his family, his teammates, and the community that has supported him since the SPL began in 2014.
He appreciates, too, his SMITE career. Salter has been playing SMITE for a decade, and though he reached the pinnacle in the SPL’s inaugural season winning the first-ever SMITE World Championship, Salter’s career has been a mix of highs and lows, and he has yet to return to the finals stage. Still, Salter continues to push—for another championship, yes, but also because Salter has found where he belongs. Competing with his teammates (he is sure to always mention his teammates) is everything to him. At 31 years old and nine years into his SPL career, Salter recognizes what a privilege it is to continue competing and playing this game that he loves. So Salter has kept pushing even after nine seasons, not only to reach the top once again, but also to stay doing what he loves: fighting on the battleground and winning for his teammates.
I sat down with Salter to talk about winning the first-ever SMITE World Championship, how he has maintained his drive to compete in the SPL, and how he has lived with the grief of losing his brother.
[The following interview has been edited for clarity.]
The Long Lane: Congrats on your win against the Warriors. It was a really impressive set, a really gritty win, which I think is a good predictor of seeing a team turn around. How does that set change the team environment heading into the bye week?
BaRRaCCuDDa: Honestly it changed it a lot. We were feeling a bit down and stressed out. Summer and Spring were our best times as a team. We messed up the tournaments, but we aren’t really used mentally to being a bottom team, so I think it was affecting everyone a bit more than they would lead on. Especially after we got stomped in the Dragons and Kings sets, and game 1 of Warriors kind of felt that way. Then game 2 happened and we got off to a lead, and we started feeling good and closed it out. And we just carried that through to game 3, and it’s just been a wave we’ve been riding ever since. Scrims have been a lot more fun. Everyone is talking a lot more. We’re just reinvigorated.
TLL: Is there a concern that going into a bye week might take some wind out of those sails?
B: No, honestly I still view it as a good thing. I think it’s good to have breaks, especially with how tumultuous the phase has been for us. I think we can continue to carry that momentum through scrims and have a weekend off where we can relax a little bit. I think it will be a good thing.
TLL: You mentioned how hard this phase has been for you, and for the past few years you’ve been no stranger to tough losses, such as in season 6 when SSG lost 2-3 to EUnited after they forfeited the first 2 games, and then in season 7 losing a tournament after your solo laner got suspended. Then, of course, the semifinals that year when you got 3-0’d. How do you respond to those difficult losses?
B: Right now, I am focusing all of my energy on scrims and the SPL. I used to be way more content-oriented and twitter-oriented. The more you put yourself out there, the more you get hurt by rude people, and I found out for myself that it’s bad for my mental to stream a lot. For those losses—nowadays I just get off social media. I don’t check it. After a tough loss, I will either stream that night, get a mental boost from my community, or I will do anything not SMITE related—leave the house, touch grass, work out. Anything that’s not at home. Pro gaming in my opinion is really stressful, so you just need to find those breaks and avenues of happiness that you can enjoy.
TLL: You’ve mentioned a few times on the Backliners Podcast how you would do just that—reading Reddit, or Twitter, or just being plugged into the fan reaction side of things. Have we entered a more ‘zen BaRRaCCuDDa’ era?
B: Yeah 100%. I think that’s the healthiest way to be. I think when I was younger I could brush it off easier. But I take things harder now than I did before. I don’t know why. But I was watching the stream the other day, and I looked at chat and someone is saying ‘Barra’s trash, he’s nothing without Jeff[Hindla].’ And I thought ‘I’m not even playing right now.’ I was just trying to enjoy the stream and I’m getting roasted on the side. Something changed in my brain and I just take things harder now, or closer to heart. I don’t know what, but something changed.
TLL: Staying with the theme of tough losses, you lost to FlashPoint at the Season 3 Wildcard, which meant you needed the already eliminated Orbit to beat them in order to send you to Worlds. You talked about this some in Spiff’s documentary, but Jeff said you went to your car and couldn’t watch the games. What was it like for you in that moment?
B: I just assumed we weren’t going to make it. (Laughs). When we lost, I thought ‘we lost, we’re out of Worlds.’ That’s where my head was. Because they [Orbit] were a team that didn’t look great the entire event. They were playing for nothing. On top of me having a really rough year anyways, I just wanted to be away from that space.
TLL: You also mentioned in that documentary that you blamed yourself for the FlashPoint loss. Do you think you’re too hard on yourself at times? Or is that a key part of growing competitively?
B: I think I am sometimes. I know the weight that I can carry if I am playing at the top of my game. The problem is, it’s hard to play at the top of your game in every single moment. If I make the tiniest mistake, I will beat myself up for it. If I press my beads at a slightly wrong time, or if I miss too many auto attacks, I will get out of my groove. And sometimes it is hard to reset. I think it was harder then than it is now, which is weird. I was harder on myself back in the day than I am now. I think I’ve accepted that I am not going to play perfectly in every single game, even if I would like to. That’s the point of teammates—to have your back when you miss one or two buttons in a teamfight.
TLL: You did make it to season 3 Worlds after Orbit won, and I think it’s fair to say that expectations were low for that event. But you beat Soar in the placement stage and earned yourself a quarterfinal against a Latin American team, which cleared the path to face NRG in the Semis—defending champs, dominant all season. And seemingly against all odds, you take that NRG set to 5 games. You lost, but it was one of the most incredible, improbable Worlds performances I’ve seen. Are you proud of that set and that year, despite the loss?
B: Oh yeah, 100%. That year I had gone through so many team changes and struggles outside of SMITE that I genuinely wasn’t expecting to get to Worlds, or play well at Worlds, or bring NRG to a game 5. I was giving it my all, but it felt like—I don’t want to say we were getting lucky, but all of the cylinders were firing together. When that happens, you feel on top of the world. Even though we lost, I think we were the second best team at that Worlds. For some reason, everyone started playing really well together and carrying each other. It was a nice feeling. I don’t look at that loss in a bad way at all. They were the better team. The fact that we made it to Worlds and showed how good we were, I think that means a lot.
TLL: That set will be referenced for a long time as one of the most impressive underdog performances, at least in a loss. You mentioned a lot of team changes that year, and you started out with Andi, TheBoosh, and Baskin, with Snoopy in support. How did that go down? Was it hard parting ways with Jeff and MLCSt3alth?
B: Yeah, that was really difficult. I was thinking the other day what would have happened if I stuck with Jeff and Stealth. Because Baskin left our team shortly after anyways. (Laughs). We signed up together but then he left. So we had Snoopy solo and Jeff back in support. Snoopy never got into the solo lane, unfortunately. And Boosh and Andi were sick mechanically, but we had out-of-game issues with waking up and being ready for scrims. Jeff and I would hop on—I don’t know if it was TeamSpeak or Dolby Axon—and we would wait for them to join. It was a hassle back then.
TLL: It was curse voice at the time, wasn’t it?
B: I hope not. (Laughs). Those were dark days.
TLL: (Laughs). It can’t be darker than Dolby Axon.
B: Dolby Axon was the shining light of voice comms back then. Mumble, Dolby Axon, TeamSpeak. I still use TeamSpeak to this day because Discord comms are terrible. No offense to Discord, but the quality here is a little lackluster. (Laughs).
TLL: And seasons 5 and 6 were hard years for you. In season 5 you were first rounded for the first time at Worlds, and in season 6 failed to qualify for the main event. By season 7 you were on a totally new team with the Renegades. Was that a hopeful season for you, starting fresh with some new talent?
B: It was a really nervous time for me because I was joining such a new team. We were going to have EmilZy, but he was not the biggest fan of how orgs were handling things at the time. I think that was when he retired or left. It was exciting but kind of nerve-wracking. I never wanted to have a season like season 6 again, since it was so stressful and heartbreaking because of how many losses we had. And losses on top of games that were so close. It was annoying to play for 25-30 minutes and have a lead, and then throw at this-or-that. In scrims, we would win those games, then lose those games in SPL. It was really hard to fix because we were double-blocking scrims Monday through Thursday. When you’re double-blocking that much and playing SPL on the weekends, you don’t get a break. So everyone was more burned out and frustrated with each other than we should have been. It is so hard to break down, especially when it’s everyone on the team that is making these mistakes. I decided at Worlds to leave that team and look for a new opportunity. Thankfully Venenu decided to pick me up. I thought I was going to SCC that year. I thought I had been tainted by us playing so poorly, and I thought no one was going to want me. But I got picked up and thankfully we’ve been pretty good or getting better.
TLL: I think it has been a very successful team. Obviously, you haven’t yet reached the heights that you may have hoped, but at least relative to expectations—especially being a semifinalist that first year. In the pre-worlds predictions that season, they started out with you and Hindu laughing, and Hindu jokingly saying that next year was your year. And I remember you got very serious suddenly and said “this year is my year.” Everyone knows your jokey, easygoing attitude, but is there this serious, intensely competitive side of you as well kind of bubbling under the surface?
B: That’s the whole reason I am a pro gamer is I hate losing and love winning. Losing is terrible. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to win and get better. That has been the fire in me since the beginning.
TLL: Despite a solid fourth place finish, the renegades almost broke up. You also nearly got Zapman jungling. I have to ask, how does Steve get you to buy stock in the Zungle? It sounds outrageous.
Salter with the Bolts during picks and bans, season 8 SMITE World Championships. Image courtesy of Hi-Rez Studios.
B: I am a believer in the Zungle. I’ll have everyone know. I got hate for not getting Zap. I was the one that wanted Zap! How are people roasting me? (Laughs). I was the one that said ‘I’m on board, let’s get it.’ My team options that year were the World Champions or Zap jungle, and I stuck with my boys and wanted to go with Zap jungle. It just seemed like the best option at the time. We were going to have LASBRA support as well. So two role swaps. That’s just who I am. I would much rather stick with the people I like playing with and just enjoy being around than go for the most stacked roster. If I had joined that PK roster, I don’t know if I would have enjoyed my time as much. Or I would have been more stressed out because I’m joining the two-time champions, and if they lose with me people would have said ‘it’s just BaRRaCCuDDa’s fault.’ It just sounded more stressful and unknown. Is the grass really greener? They won Worlds, but all of their phases weren’t great, and their LANs weren’t great. I have wondered if maybe I should have joined, but I don’t think that would be true to myself.
TLL: I think I speak for everyone when I say we’ve been robbed of seeing Zapman in the jungle.
B: I agree!
TLL: And he won Worlds again.
B: That’s what I was saying! Zap has been asking to jungle for me for years—years! He had the opportunity until a 3 AM Discord call when we decided that wasn’t the best idea. I don’t like how all of that went down, but I think that’s eSports in general. It’s a non-confrontational but life-changing decision. There are a lot of shady things that happen I think.
TLL: You stayed together and added Haddix, and you had another strong year. Very competitive all season and of course only lost to the eventual champions. This year, more of the same, but you struggled to win tournaments and Haddix left after masters. Was the loss of Haddix a devastating blow at the time?
B: It definitely caught us off guard. We had a pretty good team talk after we lost to the Warriors. There was a lot of raw emotion in that talk, which probably shouldn’t have happened. I wanted to wait to have that team talk, but we did it that night anyways. But I thought it was going to be fine. Then Saturday happened, which is when we got told. So we had to figure out our roster and who was going to play where. That was stressful because you’re supposed to be heading into a break and then the first thing you’re hit with is a roster change. That’s not the best feeling in the world, especially when there is no clear person to pick up. It was Ven who thought about Baskin, and I thought ‘I don’t know if he would join, but we can ask.’ I’m really happy that we ended up getting Baskin, because I think he’s finding his element now and the dust is slowly coming off—actually no, the dust is quickly coming off.
TLL: How did you convince him? Did y’all make a PowerPoint and sit him down? Fly out there like Steph Curry and Draymond Green trying to recruit Kevin Durant?
B: He had just graduated college and he didn’t have a job at the time, so we asked him if he wanted to play some pro SMITE and he was in.
TLL: I want to talk about season 1, but before I do, how did you get into SMITE eSports? It was pretty small and unorganized when you started in 2013.
B: My first team was Heater solo, uWont mid. I don’t remember if it was Eonic or… oh, that guy named Thewigbiener—you can just swap the letters around and figure out what that name means. And Andi jungle. We were VD—Vicious and Delicious. I think wigbiener tried out one or two games and then we went with Eonic. That was a long time ago, so my brain is pretty fried on that. But I graduated college and didn’t get a job immediately, so I was playing SMITE and we were winning money on the weekends. I was showing my parents saying ‘hey look I’m making money from this.’ And then there was an end-of-the-year tournament we won, and we got picked up by COG [COGnitive Gaming]. And when that happened, I thought ‘this is serious.’ The owner of Fry’s Electronics back then was the owner of COG, so it started getting serious and I went along for the ride.
Salter and COG Prime during a match at the season 1 SMITE World Championships. Image courtesy of Hi-Rez Studios.
TLL: And COG was very successful, consistently one of the best teams. And in season 1, you make it all the way to finals, up 2-0 on Titan, then suddenly it was 2-2. How do you keep your head in that set to win it?
B: It was stressful in the moment, but I had a gut feeling that we were going to win just because of how easy the first two games were. We realized that their support, KanyeLife, was making the biggest difference on Ymir and Ares. So we went into game 5 and banned those picks to see what he had left, hoping his third option was not nearly as devastating as the Ymir and Ares—which, funny enough, were gods North American teams just struggled into and also NA supports couldn’t play. I think Ymir and Ares were European gods for years. Once we banned that and we saw their draft, I thought ‘this is done.’ They trolled their draft so hard in the final game. We first picked Ao Kuang when he was a new god in general and new for us. I remember going backstage and hugging Andi and telling him ‘you’re the best jungler in the game, you can do this.’ And then he popped off game 5. There was just a different feeling back then. You could feel the confidence in your teammates and how strongly they wanted to win. When you’re surrounded by personalities and energy like that, you can’t lose. It’s impossible to lose a set when you’re surrounded by that.
TLL: What was it like to win that first ever World Championships? As you killed the titan, what were those emotions?
B: The best form of happiness you can possibly achieve. All of the work that we put in scrims and playing SPL finally paid off, on top of it being the biggest prize pool that SMITE has ever seen, and the fact that it was at the Cobb Energy Center, everything just lined up for me and for us as a team. It was the best feeling in the world honestly. I genuinely don’t know how to describe it. Just pure, raw emotion and happiness.
Salter holding the first place prize check with his teammates after winning the grand finals. Image courtesy of Hi-Rez Studios.
TLL: The team originally stuck together for season 2 as Cloud 9, but then Omega left and you had to grab some nobody rookie named Baskinrobin, whoever that guy is.
B: Yeah I hate that guy. (Laughs).
TLL: (Laughs). Then you’re back in the Semis with a commanding 2-1 lead over Epsilon, which included a back-breaking game 1 comeback. People still mention it as one of if not the best set of all time. Of course, Epsilon ended up winning. Do you feel like that tournament got away from you like you should have been able to win?
B: I don’t remember that tournament that fondly. I don’t remember the games specifically. I felt a bit more nervous than I did the previous year, I think because we were defending champions there was a bit more weight on us. In season 1 we were kind of the underdogs because COG Red was the shining light of North America. Then in season 2 we were the reigning world champs, so a lot of the pressure and stress was on us, instead of feeling like the underdogs which I think is a big mental advantage. I don’t think we played our best in that worlds. We just dropped the ball, honestly. We played a bit nervous and just not like ourselves.
TLL: And we’ve talked some already about those season 3 roster changes. You said season 3 was a hard year in general, outside of SMITE, and at the start of season 3 your brother Scott passed away unexpectedly. What was your relationship with Scott? What would you like us to remember about him?
B: It was really close, especially when we were growing up. But there was always that sibling bond, and kind of this invincibility feeling with your siblings. When that is taken away, you lose all of your grounding. You’re just lost. Which is how I’ve felt on and off since season 3. But I was really close with him. We connected on everything. Even today, I’ll listen to music and think ‘I should send this to Scott.’ When there’s a new game or song coming out, I’ll have that mental break then think ‘oh, he’s still not around.’ But he was the same as me—very competitive, loved gaming. He was really into Magic The Gathering, which I never got into, unfortunately. We played a lot of D&D growing up. We played literally everything together. I played on his Halo account to boost him to 50, and we played Halo together. I was always better at gaming than he was, but there was always a sibling rivalry. And, not in a toxic way, we just wanted to beat each other.
TLL: You have been open about how hard his passing has been for you. What has that grief been like? How have you carried that with you over the course of your career?
B: It’s been terrible. I haven’t been able to focus as well as I wanted to. Some days of practice are way harder than others. Before he passed, I was a very optimistic person. Since then I haven’t been able to find the light again. I’ve been stuck in a perpetual depression cycle like I can’t find the true happiness that I found before. Which is really devastating. I feel like I am still the same person, but just a darker, less happy version of myself. And that might be why it affects me more when people say negative things about me, because my mental is already in a raw, emotional state just passively now. The things people say definitely sting and hurt a lot more. It hasn’t been fun. I went to therapy recently, and I stopped going. I should probably start going again. (Laughs). I think it was good for me, but it’s really scary to face all of those emotions that are just hiding beneath the surface.
TLL: Thank you for sharing that.
B: Yeah. I don’t really know why I am so open about it. I guess I am just trying to help myself process it, while also hoping that there are people out there that I can help process whatever they’re going through. I think that’s why I am very open. Right after he passed away, I was very kept to myself. I was in the darkest depression I have ever been in. That was awful. The worst pain, the worst physical and emotional pain I have ever been through. I’m just trying to hopefully help other people.
TLL: Speaking for myself, I haven’t really lost a close family member like that, but I did go through a very difficult and painful divorce, and the way you described being passively less optimistic—I have definitely experienced that. And also, constantly wanting to reach out when hearing a new song. It definitely helps me to hear you talk about your struggles, and I know it helps other people as well. There is solidarity in dealing with grief.
B: If I could change one thing about the world, it would be that everyone would be nicer to each other. I think that would help everyone, just to realize that there are other humans out there going through struggles. Just because it’s online doesn’t mean you’re free to say whatever you want. Realize that people are struggling out there, even if they might be putting on a happy face. Because—exactly what you said—it’s so hard to find that light and happiness again. Maybe because I’ve been gaming, which is what I did with Scott, so every day I’m reminded about him. I think I’ve half processed it, but not completely. I don’t know. But I’m sorry you went through that.
TLL: Thank you. So, getting back to the SMITE, since winning in season 1, you’ve played in 3 different Worlds Semi-finals, but you haven’t been back to the finals stage. You’ve been playing this game for a decade now and you’ve been to the absolute top. How do you find the motivation to keep playing?
B: Scrimming and SPL are what I truly enjoy. It’s a very fulfilling thing to play with your teammates and scrim. My brain just really enjoys that. It’s everything outside of it that my brain doesn’t enjoy anymore. I’ve brought it up before, but getting roasted by people isn’t that great. (Laughs). Playing the game and competing, that’s the best part. I don’t need motivation for that. I am just passively motivated to play and to try to be the best player I can be for my teammates. So I never struggled with a lack of motivation. Obviously, season 6 was hard, but I was more desperate, thinking what should we do as a team to change? Do we need to kick someone? Do we need to kick me? Whatever we can do to make us the best possible team was what I was willing to do. But even when I’m struggling mentally, I still get relief from scrimming and I get happiness from scrimming, and it’s a very good distraction for me because my brain needs to be so focused on what I see in front of me and what my teammates are saying. I’m not really allowed to be sad or distracted.
TLL: I want to talk about a specific set at the season 2 summer finals. You were sick and MrMakey subbed for you. The team lost the first two games. Makey was a solo laner so they had Omega in ADC, and it was kind of a mess. Then you showed up at the studio to play and win game 3, even though you ultimately lost game 4. What gave you the strength to go the studio to play the end of that set?
B: I was mad at my teammates that they let Omega ADC.
TLL: (Laughs).
B: Because that guy was not good at ADC. Literally, as they were leaving the hotel room I told them ‘do not let Omega play.’ Makey wasn’t even a solo laner back then, he was just a ranked player. So I thought, ‘what are these guys doing?’ I was genuinely tilted in my bed in my hotel room. I thought, ‘if I play, it’s not going to be worse than what they’re already doing.’ I had so much adrenaline during game 3 I was numb to the pain I was feeling. But then we had the longest break of my life after game 3, and the whole sickness came back. I don’t remember how I was feeling exactly or what my symptoms were, but I still blame Hi-Rez for having the longest break ever between game 3 and 4. (Laughs). If we had a five-minute break between games, I would have been set. I would have carried the adrenaline through. But that break lasted so long, all of the adrenaline left my body, and all of the pain came back. We would have won that set if we started the games faster.
TLL: I’ve heard that you don’t wear shoes at LAN. Is there a reason for that?
B: I get very distracted. If I have weight on my feet, I get distracted. Any time I pull up to the booth and I sit down, pull out my mouse and keyboard, take off my shoes, and I’m ready to play.
TLL: Do you wear socks?
B: Of course. I’m no heathen. I’m gonna wear socks. I need my feet smelling as best as they can. (Laughs). I don’t know why. It’s the most comfortable setting for me.
TLL: SMITE Pro Wiki lists your height as 0.001014902807775378 nautical miles. Is that an accurate measurement?
B: Okay, I don’t know who put that on there. (Laughs). I have no idea. And also, my favorite food is not jellybeans. I don’t know who put that stuff on there, but they’re just lying. I don’t even know how big a nautical mile is.
TLL: We’re gonna need an updated measurement, then.
B: I’m 6'1, if you need an accurate height. But I have no idea how big a nautical mile is.
TLL: You have a Bachelor’s in exercise science. What made you want to study exercise science?
B: I had no idea what I was doing in college. My first two years I was taking basic courses, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted and I thought ‘I like exercising, and science is cool.’ I saw they had an exercise and health science degree and it sounded fun. I’ve used it a lot since i’ve graduated. (Laughs). I use that information daily.
TLL: You’re also very open bout the fact that you’re vegan. When did that start, and how did you make that decision?
B: Last April I went vegan just to see if I could. I think vegans have a very bad reputation as radical. Like fire and brimstone preachers. And I wasn’t the biggest fan of that. I thought I could never actually go vegan. And then I switched over to it, and it’s just been so easy. It’s been wonderful. I was initially doing it because I watched an ocean documentary about how the oceans are dying, and I heard that going vegan is the best thing they can do environmentally. So I just tried it for a week, and it was really liberating. I just love it. Everyone always asks about protein and how you get vitamins and minerals, but it’s very easy it just sounds terrifying. I think if people would do it and weren’t scared to do it—I just think it’s way easier than people make it out to be. It’s very doable.
I don’t think I would ever go back, because I have a strong feeling toward it. In the beginning, I didn’t feel strongly about it, but the longer I’ve done it the more I’ve changed mentally towards it. It’s just kind of a shocking thing that people aren’t vegan, which I think is why some vegans can be sort of aggressive about it. If it was the other way around and everyone was vegan except for 5% of people who killed animals for food, those people would be crazy. (Laughs). It would be so weird if 5% of the population was enslaving animals and using them for food. I’ve thought about that a lot. If the world was the other way around, it would be so weird. But I don’t think I would ever be aggressive about it because that’s not my personality. I wouldn’t go attacking people for eating animals. I ate them for 30 years. I think it would be hypocritical for me to harass other people for eating animals when I did it for 30 years. Being a southern boy, we loved barbecue, we loved cheese. It was in my upbringing. There’s such a bad reputation, I would rather lead by example and show people that it is doable. I do think eating animals is wrong, but I’m not going to attack people for it. There’s just a better way to handle things. But I love being vegan. It makes me feel better and happier. I love it and I think everyone should try it.
TLL: You used to play Starcraft 2 and Halo: Reach. Were your experiences with those games valuable to you as a SMITE player?
B: Yes. I was on a few Halo teams back in the day. We went to one MLG event and got to the loser’s bracket round four, which is not very far. In Starcraft, I always liked the multiplayer games. I hated 1v1, but I loved 2v2s or 3v3s. I always enjoyed that aspect. There’s just something about a team game that I really enjoy. I played Starcraft with my brother and a lot of my close friends back in the day. I would grind it. I was masters is 2s, 3s, and 4s, and I was diamond in 1s. So I was pretty good, but the difference between me and pros was astronomical, just how good they were at macro. My APM—my actions per minute—was never high enough to go pro. I would always struggle, especially in 1v1s. It was always stressful to scout the other base and try to figure out what I’m supposed to do to counter them. In 2s I would just rush and find out the best optimization to win in 10 minutes, rather than play the long macro game, even though I do enjoy the long macro game. We would do it in 4s, because you can macro in 4s way easier than in 2s. I think I started playing SMITE around when Heart of the Swarm came out. I do miss it a lot. I don’t think I would be good at all [If I played now].
TLL: Was there a teammate or player early in your SMITE career that was something of a role model for you?
B: I don’t think so. I wish there was. I think my role models would be the Halo players. Walshy, Strongside, Ogre 2, Ogre 1. All of the OGs of halo. I would say those were my role models. Probably a few Starcraft pros here and there. Maybe Grubby who was a Warcraft 3 player. I don’t think I had any SMITE role models because I viewed them much more as equals.
TLL: When you look at your SMITE career so far, and all your accomplishments, shortcomings, challenges, and growth, is there anything missing?
B: Not really. I feel very complete in my journey. I guess the real answer is I would like to win another Worlds. But everything lining up for that is just so hard. It’s not just about you, it’s about everyone on your team firing on all cylinders at the same time. It seems kind of luck based too because you can be the best team all year and then fumble at Worlds, which PBM’s team has done a few times because they’ve been the best team forever but haven’t won Worlds since season 4. So I would say win Worlds again, but I wouldn’t want to retire and say I wish I won Worlds again and still feel incomplete or like I am lacking something. For me, it’s much more about the close members of the Fish Tank [BaRRaCCuDDa’s stream community] that have been with me forever. It’s about enjoying my time with my teammates every day and just have a good time and still be competitive. If I retire without winning Worlds, I’m not going to be sad. I will still feel very complete about my SMITE career. The fact that I’ve been gifted the opportunity to play video games professionally for this long is a miracle. I feel very satisfied with my career and very happy that I got a second chance with Ven going into season 7. I thought my career was going to end after season 6. I’m very happy with the community that has supported me for this long and has made me the person that I am.
TLL: Anything you want to shout out here at the end?
B: I’ll shout out my family and Destiny. My mom still texts me after 90% of our games, and that means a lot to me. Everyone else supports me so much. Destiny has been there since the beginning supporting me, and shout out to the Fish Tank for supporting me for this long as well. Shout out to Ven too. Ven deserves it. Ven is one of the best personalities in SMITE, and I think he deserves a lot more praise than he gets.
BaRRaCCuDDa will return alongside Venenu when the Bolts face the Warriors on Friday, November 4th at Twitch.tv/smitegame
